It’s unhealthy to…

‘Just look at her,she is so good at studies! And you?’

‘She represents and mixes up with people so nicely and you,don’t even know how to talk properly with people!’

These small compliments lead to insecurities and we never know when comparison results in anxiety. One might start comparing their experiences and situations with the other. If we fail at achieving something one may end up thinking,’ No matter how hard I try, I am not gonna reach that level!’.

If one succeeds then the game of proving other individual, inferior begins. ‘I beat her in this, I am more better and capable than him/her. This makes us feel a certain kind of rush, motivation and excitement to do more things, which isn’t long lasting. It’s just for a time period! So the attitude of comparison won’t help.

Don’t waste your energy in comparing! Try to invest that energy to be more better…

I also had(and still may have at some point!)this habit of comparison. Every small feeling made me compare it to others. For example, I had a bad day. So, I would think that there are many people out there who have more big problems than I have in my life’. This made me even more unhappy.

I am just trying to say that don’t compare yourself to others. Your journey and experiences are totally different from your friend. So don’t start measuring your problems with others. Comparison is healthy for taking inspiration and learning from the other individual. There is no one superior or inferior!

I read somewhere,’Dont make the mistake of believing that the truth of another person is necessarily your own truth. This adventure is about being authentic.’

You are your biggest competitor. Try to be better person than what you were yesterday. Work hard for your good grades other than comparing it with your friends. Work more than what you did last time. Break your own record!

I know getting over this practice of comparison is quite difficult but we can always try. This quality might be instilled in many of us since childhood. So, it will be a time taking process but we can start from today itself… Stop yourself when you compare yourself to others and try to realise that it’s not right! You are unique!

Let me know your thoughts on comparison? How do you feel when you are compared by some other person? Is it healthy to compare?

What is the Problem?

This is a question asked to many of us when we are upset,had an argument or a fight and there will be people who will listen to our problems and be our confidante…. But our problem doesn’t end there. Talking about it does not help for long term because it remains in our system, it’s just that we forget about it for a while. There may be sequences or incidents where we face the same problem again.

I was also one of them, if I had a problem I would speak about it but that didn’t help all the time. Then one day unknowingly my mother helped me out…

One day in the evening while I was taking out some orange juice suddenly the food processor went off then I told my mother about what had happened…

After listening to me she stood up to help me and said ‘lets fix it’ and that’s when I realised what I wanted for my problems not only a listener but also a ‘solution’!( Maybe that’s why I love my mother so much. She has solutions to my problems)

Ask yourself what can I do to come out of this problem?

We need to realise that there is always a solution to every problem! A lock is always made with a key but sometimes we just need to have patience to find that key. We have to stop pondering over the problem and instead should divert our energy to find it’s solution. Otherwise we get habitual to it until we find a solution!

Problems are inevitable we have to face them but it really makes our life interesting otherwise it would have been so boring,just living the same routine.

Everybody has problems! I am maybe in middle of one! But I know I will get through this…..

Tell me your outcome to the problems! What do you think about it?

What makes me Smile?

This is a question you should ask yourself frequently! I thought let me do it first and then ask you to do…

So here we go…

1. Thinking that I finally got a topic for my blog.

2. Re-reading the birthday cards( which were given to me few months back..). I love receiving handmade cards, it gives me an ear to ear grin.

3. Going through the comments of my previous blog. I feel happiest after reading your comments. So, Thank you everybody!

4. I went to my dentist for regular checkup…( I have braces!). The fun part is, in order to rotate my one tooth their whole team simultaneously had to come and check my mouth which made me feel like they are searching for some treasure inside my mouth!!

5. I met my Nani ( mom’s mother) and Masi which made my day!!

Ohh.. wait!! Why am I telling you these things?

Maybe I know why… It’s most of our behaviour that when we have a bad day we ring up and tell someone about whatever happened but we usually forget and don’t realise when we are happy. So, I decided to write all the reasons which made me smile in a day!

We often search for hope in our bad times and remember God, to make things fine… But there are very few people who count their blessings even in pink of their health and thank god and universe for giving it to them!

This was one such view I always wanted to enjoy and I did with all my loved ones!

It’s a kind of request to everyone out there that when you are in the moment and you get what you have asked for, take a moment or a pause and try to feel the happiness you are experiencing in the moment and thank the Universe for that!

Let me know if you had asked for anything and got it! What do you think are your blessings in life? Or just tell me three good things happened to you today!?

How can we Love ourselves?

I was never familiar with this kind of concept or thing called ‘love yourself’. I knew how to love others, animals, nature,my favourite things but I never knew I have to love myself too!!

I gradually with time realised that, I already do! The moment when the real realisation came was when out of nowhere I got a strange feeling that nobody loves me, I am bad human being, nobody’s there to listen me; these thoughts disturbed me but the other moment I knew how to comfort myself and lifted myself up!( I didn’t know I had this thing in me!) . How does it matter someone loves you or hates you until the moment you love and value yourself!?

There may be few things we need to improve and work on ourselves… If sometimes few things go wrong it’s okay! It doesn’t make us a bad person. I always say and strongly believe in is,’ Every situation has come to make us stronger as an individual; Everything has a purpose!

There are times and instances we are hard on ourselves and never really care about what wrong is happening and keep suffering in silence, which is absolutely wrong. We need to stop caring about people who just give pain and instead should focus our energy on people who really care about us.

I read somewhere,’ People who do not love themselves cannot show love to others’.

Here are few things I do in ME time and which makes me feel happy(and maybe it helps you too!)-

One of the most important thing is to keep a ‘reflecting time’. It’s a time where I reflect and go through the thoughts I am surrounded with and I dispose all bad energies bothering me and focus on those things which I really want!

The other thing is have Treats! Treat yourself when you fulfill little commitments or achieve something you really wanted to( it can be anything… Helping your mother with her work, helping a friend, helping in grocery shopping). The treat can be of your favourite chocolate, favourite dish or anything!

Go on solo dates or trips, treat yourself with skin or hair care routine and self pampering,watch movies,dance and sing your favourite songs like no one is watching. Enjoy yourself and the small moments!

Always remember that ‘YOU’ are important! Also let me know your thoughts and if you do things for yourself.. I would love to know!! Was there any moment you hated yourself and then realised anything later?

Do we still LOVE….?

This was my one of the biggest curiosity, since the past few months… I have experienced this many times and maybe you too…(okay telling have patience!)

There are a few people who come at some point of our life and show us care,love, affection,trust,warmth and many other emotions and they become an important part of our lives. We open up to them and share our thoughts and feelings,but what if one day…

They break our trust? They do not show same amount of care and attention they used to? They are just being fake? Or anything… When any of these things happen we get hurt, we cry, feel betrayed, annoyed and what not. We end up having trust issues! Some may say we have changed!( But anyone won’t take a moment to listen what made us change!)

When these feelings take up space in our mind we somewhere feel scared to share our feelings in fear that if the person hurts me again then!? We do not open up to people the way we used to….

Then there was this one point of time when I was occupied with number and number of questions- If they break my trust I create a barrier and stop sharing my feelings to anyone? Everyone is same?I will end up taking fears? I have to hide my feelings? I stop expressing love just in fear of getting hurt?

But then there was one day when I came across a beautiful line which is,’Bravely accept the fact that I can’t keep my heart safe any more than I can stop love from taking everything from me..’

The line made me realise… That where there is love there is also getting hurt. Even roses have thorns!

We can’t create a wall around us and decline the love around…It’s the best feeling in the world to feel the love around us other than creating a barrier and denying it. It’s better to get hurt few times than being lonely….

This is something what I have realised, I may be wrong but it is my way of looking at it… If we want love around us there will be few moments where we may feel hurt but we know it’s the right person we will have courage of forgiveness! We have to accept getting hurt the same way we love…

People will come and go but always the right people will stay by your side and make it easier no matter what…

You never stop loving someone if you are hurt…

This is something which is extremely close to my heart… And I have shared it to you… I shared mine because I wanted to hear yours. How do you deal with people when you are hurt? Do you agree with me? Any different answer to my question..?

Bye 2020

When these four numbers ‘2020’ come in front of our eyes all the unforseen events come flashing into our head. Each of our world’s were turned upside down, let it be from losing our loved ones to losing some of the legendary actors, from spreading illness of corona virus to getting used to the words like quarantine,social distancing, lockdown, from flight crashes to people staying away from their families, losing jobs due to pandemic which eventually dismantled the whole working of the system.

When we look back at 2020, the first statement which crosses my mind is,’ the worst year ever’. Even when we look forward to 2021, most of us isn’t expecting much from it, as we all can see the situation is getting worse with each day….

Everything will be okay if it’s not then it’s not the end until then feel blessed of the skies u are under…

There were very few things to look back and smile at… When I shift my point of view I do realise what it taught us.

The most important thing we learned to be is grateful- to be fortunate enough to have few privileges in life and being satisfied and thank god for what we already have.

Then comes intolerance about things, the power to tolerate things which go against our will and to change and adapt to new surroundings. Many of our plans got cancelled or went in vain.

Also the acceptance of the changing surroundings. Nothing remained same but without questioning we got used to this ‘new normal’.

We showed courage and started our regular lives with precautions, instead of sitting into our homes and being in silence we kick started our lives and overcame the fears.

The most interesting part of lockdown was the amount of time we spent with our families playing board games,binge watching different movies and series, reading books, helping our mothers or partner in household chores. We did miss our schools but the qualities we learn there weren’t somehow neglected,like teamwork and unity, watched news everyday. In any situation people unified and came as a single force to fight a battle with either the disease or humanity! There was exchange of hope during conversations which made us come through this difficult year. There were prayers even when the places to worship were shut down.

All this made us realise to be conscious about our environment let us take this as warning and work towards a better and green surrounding. Also not taking people for granted we never know what is gonna happen next.

Make your surrounding green with plants! They are our best buddies..

The year did give us plenty of lessons and each of us suffered, but we did adjust and moved forward. We are ready to welcome a new year with warmth and happiness.

Let me know what’s your take on 2020! It would be great to know!!

Childhood Memories…

When i think about childhood these two words come flashing into my head- ‘innocence’ and the other is ‘nostalgia’.

Childhood is a phase of our life where,one is filled with innocence and cuteness. As kids we have our own little happy and playful place. There are no worries about anything!

There is this one thing i find unfair,we don’t remember all our childhood instances, it’s always the people around us who tell us how we were as toddlers. We don’t remember how we were as kids,our likes and dislikes, favourite song or cartoon. This all we come to know and ‘remember it’ at a considerate age when our parents and people who saw us growing infront of their eyes. Also the most interesting part of being a kid is we don’t think about what others think about us. It came naturally to us but now as we grow older we attain it.

Well the most embarrassing part is when we are told about our mischief. It’s a moment of, ‘ I used to do that? Oh my God! Seriously?’

When I look back at my pictures and videos from my childhood it’s all about fun,barbies, crocodile tears to get a thing, toys, stuffed animals,teddy bear,doll house, cindrella stories and dancing to the song with my own way without thinking of getting judged. My heart is filled with nostalgia when i go through this wonderful time of my life.

I would like to share one of my fondest memory as a kid… There was a green and white small blanket i had, which my naniji gifted to me. I was so fond of it that i used to carry it wherever i used to go,let it be sleeping, walking, playing, eating… It was always around me or close to me.

I was habitual to carrying it everywhere which wasn’t a good habit so somehow as i grew older i reduced its use and only held it close to me while sleeping. Then eventually i gave it up( i had it when i was 4 and used it till i was 10years old!). I have kept it in a floral box with few of my valuable belongings. Whenever i feel low or terrible… I hold it in my arms to feel calm,safe and comfortable.

Its kinda weird how things make us feel sometimes…. Well That’s it! Now let me know your fondest childhood memory. Please comment… It will give a big fat smile!!

A Ride to Remember…

I hung up the phone call with my father and a number of emotions came across my mind, giving me paranoia. I felt worried, awkward, weird, insecure and much more… I felt so many emotions and all at once! You must be wondering, what is the matter?

Well i came to know that i have to travel to a place which would take me an hour to reach and was forty kilometres away. The thing which gave me chills is that i have to travel all alone that too with people i dont even know, complete strangers!

I felt insecure about, what would happen if someone’s not good to me onboard? I was worried,what if i missed my stop? What if i didn’t have enough money to pay for my ride? How will i go back home if i don’t find a bus? There were thousands of ‘What if’s?’ going on in my head but there was also a part of me which wanted to have this experience,wanted to know the world a little bit more…

I somehow calmed myself and took a deep breath and i hear my inner voice saying to me,’ I’ve got to do this!’. Then i gathered a little bit of courage and went to the bus stop. The first thing i observed there, was the way people run when they see a bus, i found it funny and also weird because soon i have to be one of them. It was a run to catch the bus!

Then came my patience test, to wait for the right bus( what if i catch the wrong bus and reach somewhere unknown!OMG!!!). After finally waiting for fifteen minutes and running here and there ( like a rat!), I got the bus!! Then came the challenge of asking anyone to reassure that i have boarded correct bus!

I was nervous about whom to ask… I started scanning faces. The first person i saw who was sitting right next to me, a hairy nosed man in his early forties snoring his sleep out! The sight of the man was terrific. The other person i came across was approaching towards me with a small machine in his hand and it took me less than a minute to guess that it was conductor ( the perfect person to reassure myself!) I took the ticket, settled to my seat and made myself comfortable while enjoying the view outside with deafening (very noisy) of windows ( we all know condition of public transport in India!)

After a while i hear two aunties whispering about their daughter- in- law and how they manipulated their sons against them!(story of every other household!) But i decided to concentrate on the view outside and also the littering people have done inside the bus( which shouldn’t be done!)

Then finally i reached at my stop. I took a sigh of relief! & I headed to my final destination…

When i took a moment to think about this journey, i patted myself for grabbing this opportunity and thanked universe to present me with this beautiful experience and make me love it more! I know it was a small journey but doing this all by myself was an achievement for me atleast as i pushed myself to overcome my fears!! I had so many worries but i decided to enjoy myself in this ride. I got to learn something new! I believed in myself ( and nothing bad happened!).

I did get to know the world a little more…

This was one of my favourite experience! Let me know if you have one! As you already know, I am on a journey to know the world a little bit more…..

POSITIVITY!

In each of our lives there are days when we don’t feel like waking up and face whatever is coming through. Sometimes we like to avoid it or run away from it! Whenever we are surrounded with negativity and hopelessness, there are people in our life who encourage us to be positive. But how is that possible? How do we become a positive thinker?

Learn to dance in the music the way life plays it for you…

I guess i know the answer… But before starting i would like to share one perception i had about how to be positive at all times and situation.( Just sharing cause i don’t want you all to make the same mistake the way i did!)

If you think positive about things,it doesn’t mean that bad things won’t happen. There will be days you will feel left out, feel terrible about some decisions but it’s okay!

I have learned my lesson that being positive means to see good things happened, even in bad situations. Being positive is so much good for mental health. Who doesn’t have problems in life, but i assure you that with positivity within,you will become more stronger person with each obstacle. It evolves you into a better person with each day.

It’s always about the choice you make, either ponder over bad things happened to you or widen the perspective and look at a larger picture in front of you!( What good a situation did to u…?)

It is tough to maintain consistency ( to be positive at all times!) But i promise that the journey will be beautiful. Once a dark place will appear colourful, you will love more,to the people around you! Just never forget to lift yourself up when the days aren’t fine. Nobody knows you better than you!!

This is one practice which has helped me staying positive,no matter what!! At the end of the day thank god and people of what good they do for you. Be grateful about things you have ( other than complaining of what you don’t have!). So it’s a process of being grateful, thankful and feeling blessed! This practice does wonders to the way you(& I )think!!

So let’s start thinking positive from now onwards. Tell me in the comments section,one positive thing happened to you today? Also let me know if you follow any practice to stay positive.

A Place I Miss…

I am sitting in a bus,with my fourty other mates and gazing at the moving scenery from the window. After a while, I entered into a maroon building, it was a place where i was longing to come… It’s not about the building but about the people inside!

I wish to see this clearly, in person, very soon!

As i move towards my class thinking, whom will i meet first? Wishing that the assembly bell does not ring anytime soon ( afcors i would like to catch up with my friends instead of attending a monotonous assembly!!)

As i meet my friends and then finish the monotonous assembly, we adjust ourselves to our seats and start studying… But in the back of mind thinking of when will I go and have a small gossip with my friend. Then the journey of 3rd period to recess is the longest and toughest journey ( thinking of endless gossips to be blabbered! What will be the food in tiffin?). The lunch break is time which every student loves and want it to be never ending. It’s the golden time when all the friends from different sections unite!

As the golden time ends, the other phase starts. All of us studying after filling the tummy with good food comes the wish of…when will the dispersal bell ring? ( The only exception is the physical education period!!). Then as the time passes, the day at school comes to an end and I wish a goodbye to my friends and head back to the bus…… Suddenly i feel someone moving me from shoulder and the sound of all the chit chats, chaos fades away….

Oops! It was a dream….

I am late for my online school which makes me run for a quick shower. Then I start my phone,open an app and when I click a Join button, my class starts!( This is even boring then the boring assembly!)

Everyone is Missing something or the other during this pandemic so i thought to share, what i miss? I miss my friends,our gossips,the school vibe, teachers,the building, happiness at that place, endless memories made there, the fun we had, embarrassing moments,doing mimicry, laughing out loud with the squad,doing things with unity and teamwork…..

I read somewhere, ‘ Dreams are the language of Soul’. I experienced it today and i swear, it was wonderful!

I wish all of you would have re-lived these moments with me. I hope and pray that we soon get back to our normal lives! Only spread love and happiness,not corona! You can also share your favourite school time memory with me through comments! Please share! I would love to know one!!