If you have read my first blog you all know that I used to write since I was a small kid but the idea of writing a blog never came to me. I had been a person who doesn’t open up easily( I still dont) and was maybe scared of sharing what i felt but you guys… My Blogging family have always motivated,loved and appreciated my writing and that’s what gives me motivation and strength to come out and talk about how I feel.
My forever confidante!
So the story goes like… I was enjoying my vacation at my aunt’s home (whom i dearly call Masi) she insisted me to talk to a Career Counsellor so I can get a more clear picture of what I wanted to do or pursue. I went ahead and talked to Counsellor and she suggested me to start blogging because she thought I would be a good one. When I talked to my aunt about it she said go ahead and do it but I was never confident about starting my own blog and uploading online what I used write in my diary. I didn’t know anything about blogging so I took my time to understand how it works. Then finally after 3-4 months of building confidence and exploring I started my blog,’ My-Not-So-Secret-Diary’.
The moment I was selecting my site address!! Goosebumps!!
I have always been a person of less words… I dont like talking much and especially when it comes to sharing my problems, insecurities or worries….
When I write it helps me to feel my feelings which I had been ignoring or distracted myself with work to keep my pain at bay. I know its not correct and helpful to ignore what we feel so when it gets too much I just take my diary and write down…. That’s when I come to know what my problem is and feel much calmer from within.
I am extremely grateful for each and everyone of you reading this, taking an effort to like it and leave your comments. Thank you for instilling confidence in me and giving all the love and warmth. It means a lot… Keep supporting!
When i started this journey… I never thought i would achieve this milestone 😇❤️ Grateful!
1. Writing– I love journaling! I usually express my inner feelings through writing because when it comes to communicating verbally, it gets a bit difficult for me. I also feel that there is no fear of being judged and i can be as vulnerable as i want to be. My love for writing has made me write blogs! (Tell me in the comments, if you like talking or writing more when it comes to sharing something really personal..!?)
Pen down your thoughts… Really helps in getting clarity..
2. Photography– I am more of a person who likes to be behind the camera than being in front. Some moments i feel like i should focus on living it to the fullest but sometimes i feel like, I want to re-live this moment so its good if i capture it. As the lines from one of my favourite song goes-‘ We keep this love in a photograph, We made these memories for ourselves…’. It feels really nostalgic to look back at those pictures. (Let me know, what kind of person you are? One who likes being in front or behind the camera? You believe in capturing or living the moment?)
This is one such moment when i was really confused… Weather i should stare this beauty or capture it….
3. Reading– This is my best solution to boredom( also less harmful, instead of watching tv, books might do good to eyes…). I love my books more than anything else( I am sooo possessive about my books!!). The quote,’ A room without books is like a body without soul’ makes so much sense to me. I can literally read for hours and hours…… I wouldn’t need any company if i have a book with me!
My companion!
4. Listening to music– The best thing one can do to lighten and brighten the mood. It helps me connect with my feelings more better, when i dont understand what is really happening or couldn’t have words to express my feelings…. For me music does the job pretty nicely.
5. Mandalas & Doodling– i am a calm person so doodling is really therapeutic for me and it helps to increase my patience level. I am not best at it but i want to be so i am trying to be better at it…. Its really fun to do and i get a chance to express my creative self.
One of my work!
Thank you guys for reading…. Lets talk a little bit in comments section. Let me know you hobbies too! It would be fun interacting!
Nature is our second mother after our birth mother, she’s the nurturer of every species on this planet. She has the biggest role to play in our lives… Of keeping us alive, without her we are nothing!
Beauty!
We have been studying about the benefits of tree or environment since we were toddlers,but we never made sure to apply that knowledge!! Its our duty to protect and take care of our surroundings, our mother earth. We never express our gratitude for her selflessness, if we do only then one can realise her power.
I feel at peace when i hear trees moving with breeze, rustling of leaves,chirrupings of birds, smell of wet soil, warmth of the sunshine and when the moon glows…..
Tree and warmth of sunshine!Full moon night
I am one of the greatest admirer of nature… I learn alot and i also realised how much it needs us, her kids to realise that she has been hurt and needs to be taken care of….
As we celebrated World Environment day on 5 June, I want to ask u guys for a little help! I want to do my tiniest bit towards taking care of earth and let it be the smallest thing…. Like replacing plastic bags with cloth bags, using steel water bottle, walking or cycling for shorter distances and planting saplings. I am not asking you to do alot but very little bit, as these small changes in lifestyle can make a difference.
I have made a rule for myself which i strictly follow no matter what… On every birthday i plant a sapling and until now i have six of them at different places in my little garden. On our birthdays we go to pray, have parties to celebrate our happiness with others, go to old age home, orphanage to provide to people what they need with a sense of compassion to help people around us but we forget to fulfill our responsibility towards our own mother nature… So at my 10th birthday i decided to plant a sapling and nurture and look after it the same way mama earth takes care of me…
This is the flower from the plant on my 13th birthday…
Plant whenever possible,feed the stray animals, rescue injured animals and be gentle to them….
Do let me know your views on this one!? Do you follow any practice to contribute your tiny bit towards saving mother earth? If yes, then please let me know!
Two boys and Two girls,I know it’s a perfect balance of a group but let me tell you each of their lives is equally imbalanced…..
Anirudh woke up with a pang in his heart,yet another day of facing people and problems. He still couldn’t come in terms with the fact that he has lost his father forever. It’s been a month today but still it feels like yesterday. However,he collects himself and goes to the school.
While sneaking out from the window he says to himself,’Why do I feel so much pain everyday? Should I talk about it to anyone?’
…….
‘No, I should deal with my problems by myself! What’s the point of sharing!! Whatever let’s focus on chemistry for now!
Then at recess he goes to meet his three friends- Shivangi, Aisha and Ravi. Whom he considers as his escape from the dark thoughts or we can say his happy place. While they chat their afternoon away Anirudh notices a certain kind of uneasiness in Aisha’s behaviour and asks her,what happened? While Shivangi and Ravi are busy in their chat.
Anirudh asks,’Is something wrong Aish? Tell me!’
Aisha stays quite for a moment and says,’ My parents are getting divorced and I am quite shaken with the consequences….’ Anirudh reassures her that everything will get better. While Shivangi hurd their conversation and talks to Aisha.
Aisha gets everything out of her chest and says,’ thank you Shivangi for being my confidante and hope nobody else knows about this. I feel so blessed to be sharing this comfort level with you…’
Meanwhile the boys were roaming in courtyard… Ravi asks Anirudh’ I think something is wrong with you! Is there anything bothering you?’
Anirudh says,’ No, Nothing!’ ( trying to avoid the conversation he starts talking about cricket)
The day goes by and again during dispersal Ravi asks Anirudh if he is fine. Then after a pause he decides to talk about it, his worries, tensions and problems to Ravi. He listens….
Then the next day when Anirudh meets his group of friends everybody sees him with pity. He was startled with the way everybody was behaving with him.
He rushes to his classroom and saw Shivangi, he joins her and asks that why is everyone behaving so weird with him?
Shivangi says,’ Anirudh stay calm!’. I will tell you what had happened….. Everybody knows about your father. I m sorry’.
Anirudh stood up in frustration and says,’What? I only told this to Ravi! How can he do this to me? This isn’t something he has to announce to everybody!! He made it more worse! Now everyone will think I am weak or I am trying to gain sympathy….’ Shivangi tries to comfort him and fills in some positivity in him.
‘I am with you Anirudh, it’s gonna be okay!’ says Shivangi. He smiles at her…
Shivangi was unhappy with Ravi. He shouldn’t have been so insensitive about it!! Then she decides to teach him a lesson…..
The recess bell rings
Shivangi claps and draws everyone’s attention while Aisha requests everybody to sit and stay quiet for a while.
She says,’As everybody knows about Anirudh’s father and we are all sorry for the loss’.
Now coming to the point…..
I have rarely seen a boy sharing his deepest desires,worries and tensions to their male friend. Maybe because they aren’t respected or given priority and sometimes mishandled ( pointing her eyes to Ravi). This might result in having trust issues and one may end up feeling lonely….
I just wanted to say all the guys (also girls) out there…. Please hear to what your friend has to say, motivate and be there when they need you.
To anyone suffering from anything…. It doesn’t make you weak, instead sharing it makes you vulnerable! Which is beautiful….
……
Friends!
Ravi walks up to Anirudh and apologises for everything he didn’t do correctly..
‘Just look at her,she is so good at studies! And you?’
‘She represents and mixes up with people so nicely and you,don’t even know how to talk properly with people!’
These small compliments lead to insecurities and we never know when comparison results in anxiety. One might start comparing their experiences and situations with the other. If we fail at achieving something one may end up thinking,’ No matter how hard I try, I am not gonna reach that level!’.
If one succeeds then the game of proving other individual, inferior begins. ‘I beat her in this, I am more better and capable than him/her. This makes us feel a certain kind of rush, motivation and excitement to do more things, which isn’t long lasting. It’s just for a time period! So the attitude of comparison won’t help.
Don’t waste your energy in comparing! Try to invest that energy to be more better…
I also had(and still may have at some point!)this habit of comparison. Every small feeling made me compare it to others. For example, I had a bad day. So, I would think that there are many people out there who have more big problems than I have in my life’. This made me even more unhappy.
I am just trying to say that don’t compare yourself to others. Your journey and experiences are totally different from your friend. So don’t start measuring your problems with others. Comparison is healthy for taking inspiration and learning from the other individual. There is no one superior or inferior!
I read somewhere,’Dont make the mistake of believing that the truth of another person is necessarily your own truth. This adventure is about being authentic.’
This!
You are your biggest competitor. Try to be better person than what you were yesterday. Work hard for your good grades other than comparing it with your friends. Work more than what you did last time. Break your own record!
I know getting over this practice of comparison is quite difficult but we can always try. This quality might be instilled in many of us since childhood. So, it will be a time taking process but we can start from today itself… Stop yourself when you compare yourself to others and try to realise that it’s not right! You are unique!
Let me know your thoughts on comparison? How do you feel when you are compared by some other person? Is it healthy to compare?
This is a question asked to many of us when we are upset,had an argument or a fight and there will be people who will listen to our problems and be our confidante…. But our problem doesn’t end there. Talking about it does not help for long term because it remains in our system, it’s just that we forget about it for a while. There may be sequences or incidents where we face the same problem again.
I was also one of them, if I had a problem I would speak about it but that didn’t help all the time. Then one day unknowingly my mother helped me out…
One day in the evening while I was taking out some orange juice suddenly the food processor went off then I told my mother about what had happened…
After listening to me she stood up to help me and said ‘lets fix it’ and that’s when I realised what I wanted for my problems not only a listener but also a ‘solution’!( Maybe that’s why I love my mother so much. She has solutions to my problems)
Ask yourself what can I do to come out of this problem?
We need to realise that there is always a solution to every problem! A lock is always made with a key but sometimes we just need to have patience to find that key. We have to stop pondering over the problem and instead should divert our energy to find it’s solution. Otherwise we get habitual to it until we find a solution!
Find people to help you out!
Problems are inevitable we have to face them but it really makes our life interesting otherwise it would have been so boring,just living the same routine.
Everybody has problems! I am maybe in middle of one! But I know I will get through this…..
Tell me your outcome to the problems! What do you think about it?
This is a question you should ask yourself frequently! I thought let me do it first and then ask you to do…
So here we go…
1. Thinking that I finally got a topic for my blog.
2. Re-reading the birthday cards( which were given to me few months back..). I love receiving handmade cards, it gives me an ear to ear grin.
3. Going through the comments of my previous blog. I feel happiest after reading your comments. So, Thank you everybody!
4. I went to my dentist for regular checkup…( I have braces!). The fun part is, in order to rotate my one tooth their whole team simultaneously had to come and check my mouth which made me feel like they are searching for some treasure inside my mouth!!
5. I met my Nani ( mom’s mother) and Masi which made my day!!
Smile! It’s contagious!😃
Ohh.. wait!! Why am I telling you these things?
Maybe I know why… It’s most of our behaviour that when we have a bad day we ring up and tell someone about whatever happened but we usually forget and don’t realise when we are happy. So, I decided to write all the reasons which made me smile in a day!
We often search for hope in our bad times and remember God, to make things fine… But there are very few people who count their blessings even in pink of their health and thank god and universe for giving it to them!
This was one such view I always wanted to enjoy and I did with all my loved ones!
It’s a kind of request to everyone out there that when you are in the moment and you get what you have asked for, take a moment or a pause and try to feel the happiness you are experiencing in the moment and thank the Universe for that!
Let me know if you had asked for anything and got it! What do you think are your blessings in life? Or just tell me three good things happened to you today!?
I was never familiar with this kind of concept or thing called ‘love yourself’. I knew how to love others, animals, nature,my favourite things but I never knew I have to love myself too!!
I gradually with time realised that, I already do! The moment when the real realisation came was when out of nowhere I got a strange feeling that nobody loves me, I am bad human being, nobody’s there to listen me; these thoughts disturbed me but the other moment I knew how to comfort myself and lifted myself up!( I didn’t know I had this thing in me!) . How does it matter someone loves you or hates you until the moment you love and value yourself!?
Read books or chase the waves!!
There may be few things we need to improve and work on ourselves… If sometimes few things go wrong it’s okay! It doesn’t make us a bad person. I always say and strongly believe in is,’ Every situation has come to make us stronger as an individual; Everything has a purpose!
Stay strong! This storm shall too pass…
There are times and instances we are hard on ourselves and never really care about what wrong is happening and keep suffering in silence, which is absolutely wrong. We need to stop caring about people who just give pain and instead should focus our energy on people who really care about us.
I read somewhere,’ People who do not love themselves cannot show love to others’.
Here are few things I do in ME time and which makes me feel happy(and maybe it helps you too!)-
One of the most important thing is to keep a ‘reflecting time’. It’s a time where I reflect and go through the thoughts I am surrounded with and I dispose all bad energies bothering me and focus on those things which I really want!
Believe in yourself!
The other thing is have Treats! Treat yourself when you fulfill little commitments or achieve something you really wanted to( it can be anything… Helping your mother with her work, helping a friend, helping in grocery shopping). The treat can be of your favourite chocolate, favourite dish or anything!
Go on solo dates or trips, treat yourself with skin or hair care routine and self pampering,watch movies,dance and sing your favourite songs like no one is watching. Enjoy yourself and the small moments!
Make most of such moments…
Always remember that ‘YOU’ are important! Also let me know your thoughts and if you do things for yourself.. I would love to know!! Was there any moment you hated yourself and then realised anything later?
This was my one of the biggest curiosity, since the past few months… I have experienced this many times and maybe you too…(okay telling have patience!)
There are a few people who come at some point of our life and show us care,love, affection,trust,warmth and many other emotions and they become an important part of our lives. We open up to them and share our thoughts and feelings,but what if one day…
They break our trust? They do not show same amount of care and attention they used to? They are just being fake? Or anything… When any of these things happen we get hurt, we cry, feel betrayed, annoyed and what not. We end up having trust issues! Some may say we have changed!( But anyone won’t take a moment to listen what made us change!)
When these feelings take up space in our mind we somewhere feel scared to share our feelings in fear that if the person hurts me again then!? We do not open up to people the way we used to….
Then there was this one point of time when I was occupied with number and number of questions- If they break my trust I create a barrier and stop sharing my feelings to anyone? Everyone is same?I will end up taking fears? I have to hide my feelings? I stop expressing love just in fear of getting hurt?
But then there was one day when I came across a beautiful line which is,’Bravely accept the fact that I can’t keep my heart safe any more than I can stop love from taking everything from me..’
This!
The line made me realise… That where there is love there is also getting hurt. Even roses have thorns!
We can’t create a wall around us and decline the love around…It’s the best feeling in the world to feel the love around us other than creating a barrier and denying it. It’s better to get hurt few times than being lonely….
This is something what I have realised, I may be wrong but it is my way of looking at it… If we want love around us there will be few moments where we may feel hurt but we know it’s the right person we will have courage of forgiveness! We have to accept getting hurt the same way we love…
People will come and go but always the right people will stay by your side and make it easier no matter what…
You never stop loving someone if you are hurt…
This is something which is extremely close to my heart… And I have shared it to you… I shared mine because I wanted to hear yours. How do you deal with people when you are hurt? Do you agree with me? Any different answer to my question..?
My-Not-So-Secret-Diary 